It happened again this morning. A young girl walked past me at my gate, a familiar face I have seen enough times to almost know. We were an arm’s stretch away, close enough to notice, far enough to pretend not to. Her face said it all: do I greet this person? Will they respond? Is it weird if I don’t? She said nothing. I said nothing. We both moved on, carrying the small awkwardness of an unsaid word.
Now it is evening and my thoughts have settled in as usual. I ask myself, what is a greeting, really? And why, in a city as alive as Accra, do we seem to be losing the habit?
Let’s be honest about Accra. The city moves fast and thinks faster. By the time most people step outside, their minds are already at work, in traffic, counting costs, carrying weight invisible to anyone walking past. Your cheerful “Good morning!” landing on someone in that state is not rude to ignore, it is just bad timing. I get it. I really do. If you currently reading this, be kind and respond 😉
But here is where it gets complicated for those of us who were raised to greet. Our parents and teachers drilled it into us: greet your elders, greet your neighbours, greet anyone whose eye you catch. It was respect. It was African, or should I say Ghanaian. And somewhere between childhood and adulthood, the city told us something different.
So what do we do? Do we keep greeting into the silence and feel silly? Or do we build a smarter, kinder middle ground?
Here is an approach that is surprisingly helping me navigate. For those who relate, this is for you.
- In the initial days you see a familiar face, start with a smile. It costs nothing and asks nothing in return.
- If they smile back, a nod or a quiet “good morning” fits naturally.
- If you see someone regularly, build up to words. Familiarity earns it.
- If there is no response at all, let it go. It is really not about you.
To be clear, I am not saying go around greeting everyone you meet. I am talking about those faces you see every day: the guy at the gate, the woman who parks near you, the colleague on your side of the office. What do we do with them? We already share space. We already exist in each other’s peripheral vision. A smile, a nod, a word costs almost nothing and means more than we realise.
Sometimes the urge just comes. You are walking past someone you have seen a hundred times and something in you wants to say good morning. Do it. That urge is not weakness. It is not lame. It is your humanity reminding you it is still there. And if after two or more occasions of being ignored you decide not to, that is fair.
Now here is the thing I cannot let go unchallenged: the idea that someone who did not greet you does not deserve your help. That you would watch a person walk into danger because they did not say “good morning” first. That is not culture. That is cruelty dressed up in tradition.
Greetings carry respect. But love, the kind that makes you warn a stranger their bag is open or that there is danger ahead, that does not have a greeting requirement. Everyone deserves that, whether they spoke to you or not.
Perhaps that is what our generation needs to renegotiate. Not abandon greetings, they are beautiful, they are ours, but understand that a greeting is an offering, not a transaction. You give it without guarantee of return. And you remain human either way.
To that young girl outside my gate this morning: I understand your confusion. The world handed you a script your parents learned by heart, and then built a city that forgot to rehearse it. You are not alone in figuring this out.
Start with a smile. The rest will follow when it is ready.
